“But to Lord Peter the world presented itself as an entertaining labyrinth of side-issues.”
-Dorothy L. Sayers
Mr. Matthews stepped through the vestibule at the police precinct and entered into the buzzing atmosphere of justice. Well, actually, it was not quite the same as the picture he’d had in mind based upon all of the police television shows he’d consumed over the years. In reality there was just an officer at a desk in front of a door. He looked less than thrilled to be there and he looked even less thrilled to see Mr. Matthews.
“Can I help you?” The man asked. Though it came off more like a challenge than a question.
“I hope so, er, officer Ballard.” Started Mr. Matthews after reading the name tag on his uniform, “Is officer Welk available?”
“What’s the nature of your business?” Queried the officer.
“Oh, well, personal I suppose. He’s a friend.” Replied Matthews.
The man looked at him for a moment, seemingly sizing him up. “Name?”
“Titus Matthews.”
“Just a minute.” He said and then disappeared behind the door that was behind the desk.
While he waited Mr. Matthews scanned the small… what should he call it… reception area? ‘Not much of a reception.’ He mused to himself. There was a small, rather sad looking, fake tree in front of a window by the entry way. Besides that there was only an analog clock on the wall and a pony wall with the police insignia on it. Attached to this, on the opposite side, was a long desk. This wall-desk served to separate those who came through the front door from the lone officer who stood as gatekeeper to the place where, presumably, all the real business was going on beyond the door. Mr. Matthews wondered if this was the job given to officers who were new, or perhaps it was for those chosen for their winning personalities.
The door opened again and Prince Charming returned with officer Eli Welk following behind him.
“I wondered how long it’d be until I heard from you.” Said Welk.
“Yeah, well, I suppose it wasn’t too hard to predict. Is there a place we could speak privately?” Asked Mr. Matthews.
“Come with me.” Officer Welk gestured that he should come around the desk and go through the door with him.
As they went through they entered a small hallway with several doors on each side. Looking through some windows it appeared that on the left side of the hall one of these doors led to a decent sized room with numerous people at computers wearing headsets. “Dispatchers?” Wondered Titus aloud?
“Yes, that’s where the calls come in from the public and then they route various first responder traffic as may be needed.” Replied Welk.
They went all the way to the end of the hall and through another door, straight ahead of them, which led into a large room. The room held numerous desks for the officers of the precinct. Titus saw some of them sitting at their desks on the phone or filling out reports; about half of the desks were vacant presently. Officer Welk led them to one, his own in fact, in the far right corner of the sea of desks. He gestured to a chair next to his desk and Mr. Matthews took a seat while Welk took his own.
“How’s Kelly? And the girls?” Smiled Mr. Matthews?
“Doing great!” said Eli. “Kelly is up to full speed again and Lily is loving being a big sister. Little Liz is 3 weeks old tomorrow and already ruling the house. I, however, am very very tired.” He chuckled. “It’s a good thing my wife is a superhero.”
“Well, I am pretty sure they see you in the same light brother. I am very happy for you all. It was great to see your whole family at church this past Sunday.”
“Yeah. We are blessed. But that’s not what you came here to talk about.”
“No, not per se. But…” started Mr. Matthews.
“I really can’t tell you anything.” Interrupted Welk.
“Really? I mean nothing seems like a strong word, don’t you think?” Grinned Titus. “I bet you could tell me some things.”
“I can tell you what you probably already know. Your friend has been arrested, the charge is murder. The victim is Mr. Pemberton, proprietor of New Earth Books, and Detective Mark Pollock is the lead on the case. And that’s all I can say without getting into details that would fall under the notion of ‘privileged information’ at this point.” He nodded seriously at Titus.
“Well…how about non-privileged information…what about the detective himself? Know him well? What do you think of him as a detective?”
Eli frowned. “Strictly between you and me?” He asked seriously.
“Of course, you are my friend just as much as Fitzy is.” Replied Titus seriously.
“I can’t stand the guy Titus. He is a first class jerk. His arrogance is only surpassed by his ignorance of good law enforcement practices. I have no confidence in him whatsoever.”
“That’s a bleak report.” Responded Mr. Matthews.
“It’s just the honest one you asked for. I hope your friend gets a good lawyer who will really look into things because Pollock is convinced he has his guy and won’t consider any other angles.” Said Eli with a grimace.
“About that… can you show me to Mr. Fitzpatrick? I’d like to see to just those arrangements.” Inquired Mr. Matthews.
“He is in holding right now and visitors are not allowed with the exception of legal counsel. I can’t let you see him. I’m sorry.”
“I thought you might say that…so I brought this with me.” Titus tossed down a folded newspaper article he had brought forth from his sport coat pocket.
“And this is…what?” Asked Eli as he unfolded the paper.
“Just a clipping from a paper earlier this week. It explains that Arizona just passed a law that allows anyone to represent themselves, or someone else, even if they haven’t passed the bar exam. No need to officially be a lawyer or work for a firm. I am here to represent my client.”
“Titus, I don’t think…” began Welk.
“It’s okay, he can fire me in just a little bit, but for the meanwhile I should be allowed to see my client. Right?” Titus raised his eyebrows as he said this.
Welk finished looking over the article. “I remember someone saying something about this earlier in the week. I am still not sure it’s a good idea.” Said Welk hesitantly. “He really is going to need a good lawyer.”
“And he shall have one. In the meantime, however, he has me and I am going to work on his behalf however I may.” Said Mr. Matthews firmly.
“You’re clever Titus. Probably the smartest guy I know, actually, but be careful. You’re getting involved in a murder investigation and there are all kinds of ways this could go bad. And I don’t just mean for your friend, I mean for you.” Warned Welk.
“You worry too much Eli!” Grinned Mr. Matthews. “Just take me to Fitz.”
Officer Welk looked long at Mr. Matthews, sighed a long deep sigh, and said, “This way.”
He led him back through the door by which they had come into the room of desks. Coming back into the same hallway they then went through another door, a heavier steel framed door, which required a key card to go through. As they now entered into the holding area they met another officer, sitting at another desk, who was stereotypically dipping into a box of donuts.
“I’m gonna tell Mary.” Said Welk as they approached.
“Hey, c’mon Welk…that’s not cool.” Frowned the officer.
Officer Welk laughed with a snort and then said “Mike, this is Mr. Titus Matthews, he is here to see Mr. Fitzgerald who is here in your care. He’s a friend so, if you treat him well then maybe I won’t tell your fiancé that you’re breaking your smoothie fast!”
“C’mon man, I am dying! I have barely eaten anything solid in two weeks. I didn’t know marriage was going to be this hard right off that bat!” Complained the officer.
Welk laughed again, “Titus, this is Officer Fox. He’s pretty alright, but a bit grumpy lately for obvious reasons.”
“Eli, you know that the prisoner isn’t supposed to be allowed any visitors at present.” Interjected Fox.
“This is the detainee’s legal counsel.” Replied Welk.
“Oh. Well that’s different. That’s fast, actually. He barely got his phone call not 5 minutes ago.” Stated Fox looking a bit suspiciously at Matthews.
“Well I double as a psychic when I am not lawyering so I started heading this way before he called.” Replied Mr. Matthews in as serious a tone as he could manage.
Fox looked a bit bewildered by this proclamation. Welk just rolled his eyes.
“He’s fine Fox, let him see the prisoner.” Pressed Welk.
“Okay, okay. Maybe you can get him to stop babbling gibberish. All he does is say stuff that I can’t make heads or tails of. Rhythmic nonsense…on and on he goes.” Said Fox.
“I’ll leave you to it. Catch up with you later?” Asked Welk.
“Yeah, thanks for your help Eli.” Said Mr. Matthews.
“Right this way.” Said Fox.
They went through another door, behind another desk. Titus wondered how many doors and desks one building could reasonably hold. They entered another hallway which had three more doors on the left and three on the right, each leading to a room with a small table and chairs on each side.
‘Now this is more like what I am used to seeing on the television. Interrogation rooms!’ Thought Titus with excitement. He felt a little ashamed about how excited he did feel at this moment. It was quite serious, after all, but he couldn’t help feeling like this was going to be fun. Each door had a window with reinforced glass. The officer unlocked the middle door on the right and as he opened it this is what Titus saw and heard:
Fitzy was standing, face pressed against the corner of the room, reciting Latin in the most depressingly somber tones imaginable. This is what he was saying:
“Carmina qui quondam studio florente peregi,
flebilis heu maestos cogor inire modos.
Ecce mihi lacerae dictant scribenda Camenae
et ueris elegi fletibus ora rigant.
Has saltem nullus potuit peruincere terror,
ne nostrum comites prosequerentur iter…”
Fitz was interrupted, and turned around in great surprise, when he heart Mr. Matthews belly-laughing.
“You are not doing what I think you are doing!” Said Matthews almost in tears from laughing. “Send the muses packing, my friend, I am here to help.”
“Titus! Oh God…oh God…Titus!” Cried Fitz.
“I insist that you withhold from worshipping me so, I don’t care to suffer the fate of Herod.” Replied Mr. Matthews sternly. Then he smiled.
“What do you mean, I…oh…oh yes, quite. You and your wit. Titus, I am in so much trouble!” Bellowed Fitz.
Mr. Matthews had always had the most difficult time being serious with Fitz but, under the occasion, he was willing to now make his attempt.
“You have clearly stepped in it pretty good I’m afraid. But I have to admit, I am at a loss for details. That’s what I am here for. I need you to tell me everything and I promise I will do everything in my power to help you. I know one thing for sure, you are innocent.” This Titus said with the absolute sincerity of real friendship.
“Thank you, Titus. I am just in so much trouble and I don’t see how I am going to get out of it. I…wait, how are you here? I thought I couldn’t have visitors?” He asked.
“I told them that I am your legal counsel.” Replied Titus.
“But…I just called a lawyer. He will be here in about an hour.” Said Fitzy.
“Well then I suggest you tell me everything and then fire me before your real lawyer gets here. Then I’ll get busy working the case.”
“You’re a Sherlock now?” Said Fitz doubtfully?
“Goodness no,” said Mr. Matthews, “I am something much better. I’m a Wimsey!”